decided not to head to school and send my father off instead
the first to leave the country.
multitudes of inexplicable emotions that I had to hide.
sigh...

clarissa said something about lightning shorting out something
that caused her internet and phone lines to stop functioning.
discussed at length with kfan the improbability of that
especially when electrical output, tv antennas
or anything else for that matter appear to be unaffected.
neither of us are very sure, but we're moderately skeptical.
the chances of that happening are...
if it turns out to be some plot to break the rules
she would not be the first and only victim.
but I think I'm just being paranoid.
it'll take nothing short of a contraption
resembling a heavily modified sosus line
the likes of which has never been seen on this side of the globe.
and I'm certain that is beyond even their means.
nobody else has complained about any strange anomalies anyway.

the other kids might like it there,
marvel at everything,
but the air of something that went beyond sanguine and more towards lavishness in the amount of effort spent in making the place more than merely comfortable
made me feel very contemplative.
I've been in grander, larger dwellings, by warmer invitations.
but seldom one as immaculately... arranged.
as if everything should fit with everything.
almost like a interior landscape masterpiece.

my thoughts drifted to the streetkids who gave me a space
in the abandoned building that has since been torn down.
and found myself thinking there is no way anybody who lives in such a house
will ever experience or want to experience that.
its not the money, its simply the life.
its like how I got cultivated and taught
to know my cutlery, to know my wines
to remember mannerisms that can get incessantly inconvenient when numerous ladies are at the table.
to hold my own in being a dutiful gentleman as any.
to be able to be in a position
to gracefully accept said warm invitations to said large, grand dwellings and generally perform distasteful social obligations.
but even wearing a suit and tie, I look rough-edged.
your life reflects upon you,
even if your mind isn't always totally that of what you live.

and while I have no desire to wish immense suffering on the 2 children living under that roof.
I wonder how advisable is it for there to be an immense lack of it.
materially speaking of course.
I daresay everybody has their plate full spiritually regardless

this goes in conjunction with how many unknowns my inevitable trip to china is filled with, even things pertaining to basic survival.
which makes me feel very thankful
that such situations are not unknown to me.
at least I'm confident I can take it.
hell there's gotta be more street kids there than here.