I have no doubt that this is not a war.
This is a master's game of chess.
And I am juz a pawn.
And in order for a pawn to survive, he must play a double game.
On one hand, he must let himself be used in order for the game to progress, and this will not blow through if the game does not end.
On the other hand, he mustn't allow himself to be manipulated to the extent of getting sacrificed for something that has no meaning to his life.

And to do that, the pawn will need to know where the game is headed.
This is where it gets mentally taxing.

I never approved of all the secrecy in this double-life.
But at least it was necessary.
In school life, I am befuddled at how people are openly being secretive.
You don't know who I really am.
Only my few close friends know.
I can openly let you know that this is juz a facade while I smile at you.
You dunno if I actually think you're a goddamn bastard
That I'm juz appearing to be nice
All I let you know is this is not a genuine smile.
I have a secret blog that only my clique can read.
Only they know what I've been through, the rest of you can go f* off.

Unless I'm interested in you...
Ah then I'll lament at how you don't understand me
How you don't notice me for who I am.
How you don't know that I'm actually like this and like that.

Guys act tough and charming on the exterior, girls act girly and caring.
We all pass this 2 years like this
And at the end of it, we have no idea who everybody is.
Even ourselves.

And me?
What do I care?
I am about to transcend into oblivion.


But I do care..